Avoidant Attachment: Why You Run Away Just When Someone Truly Loves You

Every time someone gets too close, you feel uncomfortable. When a relationship becomes deeper, something inside you looks for distance. It’s not that you don’t want to love—it’s that you’re afraid.
Avoidant attachment is a pattern where affection feels like a threat and closeness feels like a loss of freedom.

When Love Triggers Fear
People with avoidant attachment learned, often without realizing it, that opening up leads to pain. Perhaps they had distant, cold, or unpredictable parents, and they came to associate intimacy with vulnerability.
As adults, they fear depending on others, take refuge in self-sufficiency, and avoid showing emotions. They seem strong, but in reality, they’re protecting a wound that was never cared for.
In therapy, many say: “I like someone, but when everything goes well, I pull away.” The heart learns to close itself so it won’t be hurt again.

How to Stop Running From Love

1.      Don’t deny it. Understanding that love scares you is the first step toward transforming it.

2.      You don’t need to open up all at once. Just stay a little longer in the discomfort before stepping back.

3.      Being honest about your fears doesn’t make you weak—it makes you human.

Avoidant attachment begins to heal when you learn to trust again.
Therapy helps you do it safely—without losing your independence.