How to Know If You Really Are Who You Think You Are or Just a Social Construct

Who are you? This is one of the most complex questions because your identity doesn't just come from within; it also comes from the world around you. Since you were born, your family, culture, friends, and society have shaped you, telling you what's right, what's expected of you, and how you should behave. Over time, many of these influences become so integrated into you that it's hard to know if your decisions, tastes, and values are truly yours or just a response to those external expectations.

This social construction isn't negative in itself. Being part of a group and adapting to its culture is natural. The problem arises when your identity becomes a reflection of what others expect and not of what you feel or desire.

Signs That You Live According to an Imposed Identity

• Your Decisions Are Dominated by "Should" Rather Than "Want": If you do things just because "it's what's expected" and not because you genuinely want to, it's possible that your life is guided more by external pressures than by your true essence.
• You Feel Like You're Playing a Role: If at work, in your relationship, or in your social life you feel like you're "acting" and not being yourself, it's a clear sign that your identity is conditioned by external expectations.
• You Struggle to Define Who You Are Outside of Your Roles: If you ask yourself "Who am I outside of my job, my relationship, or my social circle?" and don't have a clear answer, it's possible that you've defined yourself more by social labels than by your true essence.
• You Constantly Seek Approval: If external validation guides your decisions and you need to be accepted to feel valuable, it's likely that your identity is more based on others' views than on your own judgment.
• Fear of Rejection Prevents You from Being Authentic: If you often hide your opinions or desires out of fear of being criticized, it's because you've learned that being yourself is risky.

How to Reconnect with Your True Identity

• Question Your Beliefs: Ask yourself: "Do I believe this because I feel it, or because I was taught it?" Identifying which ideas come from you and which from the environment is the first step to differentiating your inner voice from others'.
• Listen to Your Desires: Often, what you desire is hidden under "should be." Ask yourself: "What would I do if there were no expectations or judgments?"
• Observe Your Emotions: Discomfort, apathy, or emptiness are often signs that you're living according to a script that doesn't belong to you.
• Dare to Be Uncomfortable: Being yourself means displeasing others or breaking expectations. But that discomfort is part of the process of reclaiming your authenticity.

Recognizing that your identity is influenced by the environment is not a reason for guilt but for self-awareness. We are all, in part, a mix of who we are and what we've learned to be. The important thing is that this mix doesn't rob you of your authenticity.

If you feel that you've lost your true self or that you live more to meet expectations than to be happy, therapy can help you find yourself. With our guidance, you can explore who you are beyond what you've learned to be and build an authentic and free identity

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