Self-Deception and Why We Lie to Ourselves
At some point, we have all told ourselves a lie to feel better, avoid
pain, or justify a decision. Self-deception is not just an evasion. It is a
psychological strategy we use to protect ourselves from truths we feel we
cannot handle.
Lying to oneself seems contradictory. But in reality, it is an
unconscious way to maintain an internal coherent image. We prefer to tell
ourselves that everything is fine in a relationship that no longer works, that
something that hurts does not affect us, or that we are not responsible for a
situation we know deep down we are.
The Problem is That These Small Lies, Although They
Calm at First, Generate Confusion, Dissatisfaction, and a Deep Disconnection
from Oneself in the Long Run
Self-deception prevents you from seeing reality clearly, making healthy
decisions, and growing emotionally.
Often We Deceive Ourselves Because Facing the Truth
Would Mean Making Changes We Are Not Ready to Assume
Accepting that something does not work, that we have failed, or that we
need help is painful. So the brain chooses the shortcut: distorts, minimizes,
or justifies.
Fear of Judgment Also Influences
Admitting certain things to oneself touches wounds of self-esteem,
guilt, or shame. That is why we prefer to look the other way, even if it means
living disconnected from what we truly feel.
Recognizing Self-Deception is Not Easy, But It is
Liberating
Start by honestly observing the areas of your life where you feel
discomfort. What are you telling yourself to avoid change? What truths are you
avoiding looking at?
Writing is a Useful Tool
Write without filters about a situation that makes you uncomfortable.
Often, by bringing thoughts out uncensored, truths you had hidden even from
yourself appear. Talking to someone you trust or starting a therapeutic process
allows you to see more clearly what is clouded by defense.
Accepting a Truth Does Not Mean Acting Immediately
Sometimes it is enough to see it, name it, hold it. Change will come
when you are ready. But the connection with yourself will start at that moment
of honesty.
Self-Deception is Human
But authenticity is a choice you make when you feel ready to live in
coherence with who you really are and feel.
